Q: My sister and I have had joint POA since 2013, but not immediate. We have never exercised any POA. I have been taking care of her, although she is in an “independent living” place. I do her finances, her shopping…she should not be alone any more, as her health and mental condition are both deteriorating. She cannot live with me. My sister and her husband are willing to have her move in with them in another state, until a nursing home or hospice is the only option. She does not want to go, but at this point it cannot be her choice anymore. Ten years of my life are gone. (West Mifflin, PA)

A: This is a difficult situation. If your mother is deemed to be incompetent to manage her own affairs, you can file to be appointed her guardian. Until then, she can make her own decisions. You really need to sit down with a lawyer who handles guardian work and share all the facts.