How do I help paralyzed senior in another state?

Q: His children are mistreating him. They have power of attorney. He lives with his daughter and her husband. They will not allow him to have company. After his nurse leaves, no one comes to check on him. He has a decent income. He just wants to live in assisted living, be around other people. They don’t take him out and he doesn’t eat with them. His grandchildren lives there and he hardly ever see them. He has no quality of life. His nurse is only company he has. He is in wheelchair, but it is just cruel the way they treat him.

A: This is a difficult situation. You could try to talk to the family if you haven’t done so. You could contact the local Department of Aging to see if they will do a wellness visit. Perhaps have him express his feelings of wanting to leave to the department of aging people in writing if he is not comfortable doing it in front of his present caretakers. Maybe, but doubtful, the local police department has an officer who deals strictly with domestic situations or with crime against the elderly. If such officer exists, you could see if he will visit your friend and talk with the family then talk to the friend in private. He could also sign a POA in favor of you if he agrees to do so and if you can somehow get it done with a lawyer going into the home. It seems that if this friend of yours really wants to leave, if he expresses his feelings, it can be done. The other option is to file for a guardianship over him which you really need to have legal advice before doing so. If you are not family, the court will favor family unless the family members are suitable.

If you feel like this issue relates to you, or a problem that you are experiencing, please contact me so that we can discuss your situation.