Q: I have a basic custody agreement with my ex-husband. I have primary physical custody, and he gets our daughter every other weekend. We always meet in a neutral place for drop off and pick up. I recently got engaged and am moving in with my fiancée and his children. The relocation puts us closer to my ex, so it does not interfere with the current visitation schedule. I sent him an email and formal letter, giving him the information outlined in the agreement necessary for relocation: 30-day notice, address, phone number. He emailed back stating that I need to make arrangements for him to come and see the new home where she will be living. He is extremely disparaging towards me and barrages me with text messages that are downright mean. I do not want him in my new home, whatsoever. Neither does my fiancée, due to his behavior. Do I have to let him visit? My ex seems to think that I do. Nowhere in the custody order does it state that this is a stipulation. Please advise. (Baldwin Twp., PA)
A: I know of no such rule and inspecting each other’s home is not in your agreement. It is a tough question given his interest in ensuring the new home is suitable for the child balanced against your concerns of his controlling behavior. If you don’t want to let him in, don’t do it. The risk is that he may withhold custody, which may cause you legal fees, but which is a battle you should ultimately win. Is there a middle ground? Does he have a normal person in the family, like a sister, who can inspect your new home and report back to him?