Have I committed elder abuse? He is 77 and spent $ 70,000 on me

Q: He is caring for me as he wants to marry me. I agree to marry him if he pays for my law school. He has been paying all old bills and new bills, taking me shopping. Deposit directly into my bank account about $25,000.00. However, I have become concern that I can’t marry him even if he did pay for my law school. Every time he meets with his attorney she says I am committing elderly abuse of the large sums of money I keep extracting from him. He offers he runs to the bank in deposits I have not promised him sex nor love nor have I said I love him It was simple he wants to marry me. I want to be taken care of and obtain my education. But if I am accused of elderly abuse now what is going to happen when I do marry him and I am never home and he becomes ill or I am 55 and he is like 90?

A: If you are contemplating a legal career, this is not the way to learn elder law.  77 years is not that old, but some people do have an early onset of dementia. Even if he has no clinical diagnosis and is clearly competent, if he is paying out all of this money with hope that you will marry him, and you seriously doubt if you will fulfill his hope, then you are taking advantage of him. You need to tell him that you will not marry him. The worst he can do is stop paying your way. It will be tough, but if you have a conscience, you will feel better. As a word of caution, if his lawyer has the opinion that your actions constitute elder abuse, there may be a basis for such allegation, which should give you all the more reason to stop. With your interest in the law, you may want to look up PA’s specific crimes for exploitation and fraud upon the elderly.


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